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[Mar. 2nd, 2010|07:16 pm] |
ATTENTION HOT FEMALES OF HOGWARTS: IF YOU FEEL FAINT DURING AN EXAM, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SWOON INTO MY ARMS.
I CANNOT PROMISE THAT I WON'T COP A FEEL, BUT AT LEAST YOU WON'T FALL ON THE GROUND! |
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[Dec. 4th, 2009|10:05 pm] |
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It's way too freaking quiet around here. Don't tell me I'm gonna have to plan some epic thing to shake you all up. What do we think about streaking through the Great Hall during breakfast? |
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[Nov. 1st, 2009|02:09 pm] |
I do NOT appreciate that glare McHotpants gave me today when she was talking about not having sex in the halls. There's no reason for her to be JEALOUS like that when she resists my advances constantly!
Speaking of advances.... MELODY. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. |
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[Oct. 16th, 2009|04:37 pm] |
OI! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
Unfortunately, I cannot accept any birthday kisses/sexual favours this year. Please send them all to Joseph Dawlish (even though he's a fuck), Nemo Oddpick and Samuel Huntington. And maybe Wesley East.
Food and gifts however, I will gladly accept.
Party in the Gryffindor common room later tonight! |
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[Oct. 12th, 2009|03:01 am] |
TO JOSEPH DAWLISH AND CERIDWYN BOOT:
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING HOLDING HANDS TODAY.
THIS FUCKERY IS NOT ALLOWED, DAMNIT.
I WILL PUNCH FACES.
Not yours, Ceri. Obviously. You are still in trouble though.
BUT JOE, I AM COMING FOR YOU. I AM NOT KIDDING. |
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[Oct. 11th, 2009|01:39 am] |
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GRYFFINDORS!!! HUFFLEPUFF HAS DECLARED WAR ON US DURING THE PRIDE DAY THINGER. WE MUST WIN. START THINKING OF AWESOME THINGS RIGHT NOW AND DON'T REST UNTIL WE HAVE KICKED THOSE BADGER ARSES. |
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[Oct. 10th, 2009|02:56 am] |
So... I guess I'm failing Potions. Any beautiful ladies want to tutor me?? I can repay the favour in many different ways, if you catch my drift. We can discuss the options at your convenience.
Can I paint my body in Gryffindor colours next week for that Pride Day thing? Like... maybe someone could paint a big lion on my chest. Or two little lions on each buttcheek! OR BOTH. That sounds like a SMASHING idea! |
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[Sep. 16th, 2009|10:55 pm] |
Ahhhh, Scandalwitch. I love you. And it's true. I am in love with Headmistress Mchotpants. She really gets me going, you know what I mean?
That was an excellent read. |
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[Sep. 13th, 2009|07:04 pm] |
OI. I'M BACK. I MADE A HOT OLD GUY, DIDN'T I?
Too bad I don't remember anything about it. And I spent all day yesterday in the hospital wing because I tried doing a backflip off my broom and ended up breaking my collarbone. But I'm all fixed now! |
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[Sep. 11th, 2009|01:22 pm] |
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Back at Hogwarts, eh? Well, I can't say I'm pleased about this whole situation. I've read enough of everyone else's entries to realise we've been given an aging potion.. but that doesn't change the fact that I am still Puddlemere's coach and I can't shake the notion that I'm missing an important practice. |
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[Sep. 10th, 2009|04:27 pm] |
I'M A GIRL. THIS IS AMAZING. I HAVE AWESOME BOOBS.
WHO WANTS TO TOUCH THEM?
And where are all the lesbians? I've got to go hit on them now. |
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[Sep. 6th, 2009|05:11 pm] |
I have two important topics to discuss with everyone today:
One - YULE BALL. WHO'S GOING WITH ME? Sign ups start now.
Edited later
Start being jealous guys, I'm going with TRINITY.
Two - Next Quidditch match, I need some volunteers. You know how in muggle sports, people write team names and things on their bellies? WE ARE DOING THAT. Sign ups for that also start now. |
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[Sep. 5th, 2009|05:42 pm] |
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IF YOU HAVE MY ROBOT UNDERPANTS CAN I PLEASE HAVE THEM BACK? |
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[Sep. 5th, 2009|01:41 am] |
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OI. GIRLS. IF YOU WANTED TO SEE MY UNDERWEAR, ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK. |
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